The ordinary feminist: The superwoman

In this series, I’ve explored the challenges I face in my ordinary, everyday life when trying to be a feminist. Looking back on what I’ve written, my main conclusion is – it’s bloody complicated. 

It’s easy when ‘the feminist path’ falls in line with my own desires and abilities. Studying traditionally male subjects, check. Earning my own living, check. Bringing up my daughters to believe in their equality, check. It’s a lot harder when they diverge. Do I force myself against my own inclinations in order to forge ahead on the feminist path? Do I make myself argue with my partner over decisions I don’t care that much about, undertake DIY when I’m crap at it, break the glass ceiling when I’m happy in my current role, become an activist when I loathe confrontation? 

And – here’s the rub – are my inclinations really my own inclinations or have they been brainwashed into me by gender stereotyping? 

And what is ‘the feminist path’ anyway?

Automatic conformation to gender roles or automatic rejection of gender roles are both easy ways out of struggling with the decisions. But I think that’s a cop-out. I need to keep searching for my own path, to test my principles against my everyday reality, in everything I do. That is the task of the ordinary feminist.

Like many women, the ultimate stereotype embedded in my head is the superwoman. Perfect wife, perfect employee, perfect mother – perfect feminist. I need to consign the superwoman to fiction, where she belongs, and look to the imperfect human beings around me for inspiration, as they are the role models worth learning from.

Perhaps, in the end, all that matters is that I keep trying.